Tips to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Overthinking
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Written by: Jonette Dyer
Do you find yourself constantly wondering why you should even try because you always fail? Do you feel stuck and unable to start projects because of fear of not being enough? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others, only to find that you fall short? If so, then you might be struggling with self-doubt and overthinking.
What is Self-Doubt?
Self-doubt is the feeling that you do not have the ability to do something. You doubt that your actions will make a difference in a situation. It is a lack of faith in yourself. Most people have periods of self-doubt, but when this doubt becomes a habit, you can start to doubt your worth, which can lead to mental health concerns.
What is Overthinking?
Overthinking refers to repeatedly dwelling on the same thought to the point that you can’t do the other things in your life that you need to. This is sometimes called rumination. Typically, overthinking is either thinking about the past and what you should have done differently or worrying about what may happen in the future.
The Connection Between Self-Doubt and Overthinking
Both overthinking and self-doubt have a negative side, and they are connected. They feed off of each other. When you find yourself thinking repeatedly about the same distressing thoughts, a clear sign of overthinking, you fuel your self-doubt.
For example, if you are thinking about a mistake you made in the past, and start excessively analyzing and picking it apart, then you may find fuel for your feelings of self-doubt. You’ll start wondering if your decisions and actions led to the mistake, and you may start thinking you do not have much worth because of the mistake.
Similarly, self-doubt can fuel overthinking about the future. If you have no confidence in your own abilities and worth, you may find yourself living in intense fear about the future. You will feel like you can do nothing to improve your station or make your future better, and as a result, you stop trying. Instead, you get into the habit of just worrying about what may happen and how you are seemingly powerless to stop it.
The Impact of Self-Doubt and Overthinking
Most people will have periods of overthinking and self-doubt. It’s a normal part of being human. However, when those negative thought patterns become a habit, they can hurt your mental health. The negative nature of self-doubt and most overthinking leads to overwhelming emotions, and those can cause you to shut down.
Too much self-doubt can keep you from reaching for high aspirations, and too much overthinking can keep you from getting stuff done. This, in turn, can keep you from reaching your personal and professional goals. That’s why learning to overcome self-doubt and overthinking is vital to your well-being.
Recognizing the Cyclical Patterns of Self-Doubt and Overthinking
Self-doubt and overthinking tend to run in a vicious cycle. When you can recognize that cycle, you can stop it.
Often, one negative thought is all it takes to start the cycle. You have a thought of self-doubt, and that triggers you to start overthinking about the challenges you face. Similarly, you start to overthink about the future, and that sparks feelings of self-doubt. The key to fixing all of these problems is learning to recognize the cycle and stop your thinking before it can cycle around and spark the other negative thought pattern.
Causes of Self-Doubt
Everyone experiences self-doubt, but the reason is different for each individual. Self-doubt comes from a range of causes. Some of the most common include these five:
Overthinking Leads to Self-Doubt
Self-doubt and overthinking run hand-in-hand. Overthinking the scenarios you face and the potential outcomes is a common cause of self-doubt. If you fall into this trap, you will find yourself ruminating over your circumstances and imagining every possible scenario. This type of overthinking often comes from anxiety, as the two play against each other.
Fear of Failure Leads to Self-Doubt
Most people have an inborn desire to succeed. Yet, for some, that desire can cause an extreme fear of failing. Rather than viewing failure through the lens of a growth mindset, which encourages the person to learn from their mistakes, it is viewed as the worst possible scenario. Fear of failure will trigger self-doubt because you will doubt your ability to succeed.
Trauma Leads to Self-Doubt
Negative experiences in life cause trauma, and when you experience trauma, your self-esteem may be damaged. Self-esteem is quite connected to self-confidence, and thus, if you suffer trauma, you may doubt yourself. Treating trauma may require professional help to overcome.
Comparing to Others Leads to Self-Doubt
If you look hard enough, you’ll find someone who is better than you at just about anything you try. This type of comparison can cause you to develop intense self-doubt. You may believe that no matter how you try, you will never be as good as the other person you have seen, and thus you might as well not try.
Perfectionism Leads to Self-Doubt
All of these causes, with the exception of trauma, are connected to perfectionism. When you want to or expect yourself to be perfect, you will doubt your abilities. After all, no one is truly perfect.
Steps to Overcome Self-Doubt
If you find yourself sinking into the trap of self-doubt, and can’t get yourself out of it, here are some practical ways you can move past it.
1. Set Realistic Goals for Yourself
Stop expecting yourself to reach perfection. Set realistic goals that are not quite at the level of perfection, and reward yourself when you reach them. Remember, everyone, including you, is going to make mistakes, so give yourself grace.
2. Learn Confidence and Exude It
Even if you lack confidence, you can learn how to be more confident. Working with a personal coach can help you learn confidence, and once you become confident, start exuding that confidence everywhere you go.
3. Know Your Worth Be Aware of Your Positive Qualities
Most of the time, self-doubt can be fixed when you learn and embrace your own positive qualities. Again, this is where a life coach can help. For many people, seeing your own positive qualities isn’t easy, but a professional who can come alongside you and help you pinpoint them can help.
4. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Everyone deserves kindness, including you! Learn to change your internal dialogue, so you give yourself compassion. Use positive affirmations to retrain your internal thought processes so you embrace self-compassion.
5. Challenge Negative Thoughts
When negative, self-doubting thoughts pop into your head, challenge them. Sometimes, it can help to think of yourself like your child or best friend. Would you want someone saying about that person what you are saying to yourself about yourself? If the answer is no, then you need to stop saying those things to yourself.
When a negative thought comes, challenge yourself to think the truth. For example, if you automatically think, “I am going to fail this project at work,” then change that to, “I am going to give this project my best and learn from it.”
6. Learn from Failure
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails from time to time. Even the most successful person you can think of has a path that is lined with failures. Instead of viewing failure as the ultimate negative experience, learn to view it as something you can learn from. If you can make this mindset shift and learn to turn your weaknesses into strengths, you will be setting the stage for success.
7. Seek Support and Continuous Learning
Finally, surround yourself with people who will support you on your journey toward self-acceptance. Continue learning about self-doubt, its causes, and its cures. Use professional mental health coaching to help you take the next step toward success.
Cultivate a Positive Mindset with Jonette Dyer’s Coaching
Cultivating a positive mindset and getting rid of self-doubt is not easy, but it is possible. The right professional help can be an important part of this process.
Jonette Dyer is a life coach and
relationship coach who is ready to come alongside you and help with this process. Coaching is not the same as therapy services, but it can do quite a bit to help change your thinking. If you’re ready to
start your journey toward positive thinking and self-confidence,
meet Jonette today or book your
personal coaching session.
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