Self Confidence vs Self Esteem: What's the Difference?
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Throughout our lives, much is discussed about self-confidence and self-esteem. The two terms have become so common in our everyday vocabulary that they’re often used interchangeably. However, they aren’t the same, they don’t develop the same way, and they aren’t referring to the same thing.
An abundance or lack of self-confidence and/or self-esteem can be the “make it or break it” factor that separates a happy life from a desolate one, or a capable, confident person from a shy doubter. In order to nurture and leverage your self-confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to first understand what each is, how they overlap, and how they differ.
What is Self Confidence?
Self-confidence is all about how you view your ability to successfully do something, and your belief in your own competency. This can be fluid and change rather drastically depending on the setting, context, and situation.
For example, you may feel very confident doing something you’ve done many times before in a familiar setting, surrounded by supportive family and friends. On the other hand, it’s normal to have a lack of confidence when entering a new environment, demonstrating a new skill, or working with a team of people you don’t yet know. Self-confidence is tied to things you do, and how well you perceive your ability to do them.
People who lack self-confidence can come across as shy in many situations. They may experience social anxiety, have trouble effectively communicating, and be fearful of asserting themselves.
What is Self Esteem?
Self-esteem is the way you choose to value and appreciate yourself as a person, separate from any skills or tasks. Self-esteem develops throughout your life and can be influenced by your experiences, influential people around you, and deep-seated beliefs about yourself that have developed over years or decades.
Someone lacking self-esteem may give too much weight to their overly critical inner voice. This can be manifested through ignoring personal strengths and instead choosing to focus on weaknesses and areas of lack. It can cause a person to focus entirely on mistakes and missteps while ignoring any successes or positive traits. In general, someone with low self-esteem may always be expecting the worst, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The Main Differences Between Self Confidence & Self Esteem
Self-confidence is all about a person’s attitude surrounding their capabilities and adeptness at certain skills. It’s more situationally influenced and tied to specific tasks or processes. Self-esteem is more about how one feels about themself in general, rather than in relation to their ability to complete a task or action. It’s a mindset revolving around one’s own value and self-worth.
How Do Self Confidence & Self Esteem Work Together?
Contrary to popular belief, self-confidence levels don’t always correlate with self-esteem levels. It’s possible for a person to be very self-confident in certain areas of their life, but still regard themself as a whole with very low self-esteem.
For example, you may work as a teacher and be extraordinarily confident about your ability to excel in the role. You’re comfortable in the classroom, you create incredible lesson plans, you form meaningful educational relationships with your students, and you’re a pro when it comes to dealing with parents. Those are all great examples of self-confidence, but they’re tied to your career.
On the other hand, you may think very little of yourself when you remove the label of “teacher.” You may be uncomfortable in relationships, feel that your personal life is lacking in many areas, or believe that you’ll never be a good enough person. Despite your high self-confidence, this mindset allows low self-esteem to prevail.
Often, however, self-confidence and self-esteem can often go hand-in-hand, whether that’s for better or worse. If you are feeling confident about your abilities in different areas of your life, this can spread over to your sense of self-esteem. You may begin to believe that if you’re good at so many different things, you can’t possibly be as unworthy of a person as your critical inner voice might leave you to believe.
Alternately, if you struggle with very low self-esteem, it can be exceedingly difficult to believe you’re good at or worthy of anything, task related or otherwise. When you’re always expecting the worst to happen and focusing only on the negatives, it can feel impossible to see and honor any of your gifts and strengths in any areas of your life.
Ways to Improve Your Self Confidence & Self Esteem
There are concrete ways to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem in order to create a more satisfying, full and joyful life for yourself. But this can feel difficult, if not impossible when you’re essentially drowning in self-doubt and self-loathing. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut, and then not know how to get out of it.
This is where a
personal development coach can become invaluable. A personal life coach like Jonette Dyer can objectively look at your current life situation, and work with you to help you find the positives and begin to build a better, brighter life.
She’ll help you develop a toolbox full of practical tools that will get you on the path to building better self-confidence and self-esteem. By helping you to identify and live by your core values, she’ll help you realize what’s important to you, which can go a long way in giving your life joy and meaning.
Personal development coaches work with you to make changes in your life, recognize positive influences, become better at accepting yourself, reprogram any detrimental thinking, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. While coaching isn’t therapy, it can provide a different set of skills and exercises that can work in tandem with or independently from any work you may be doing with a therapist.
Finding the right life coach is paramount to building better self-confidence and self-esteem. Reach out to Jonette Dyer to
start your journey today.
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