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How to Start Living Out Your Core Values

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Core values, or personal values, are the things, ideas, and ideals that we hold most important throughout our lives. From moral values, like treating others with respect, to personal values, like religious beliefs and choices, to lifestyle values, like prioritizing the arts or sports in your life, each core value helps to shape who we are, and colors our outlook on life.

But, how do you know what your core values are? What does living your values look like? And why do they matter, anyway?

Why are Core Values Important?

Core values help us understand who we are, and what is important to us. They guide the trajectory of our lives, and influence how we interact with the world around us, and the individuals in it. They dictate what we believe in, what issues matter to us, and what sort of people we want to be and surround ourselves with.

Without clearly defined core values, it’s easy to feel untethered, or as if you’re floating through life without a purpose or point of view. Living by a strong, clearly defined set core values makes you less susceptible to blindly adopting someone else’s values, without considering whether they make sense to you, personally. Not knowing or applying your values can have an emotional impact, too. Not knowing what you stand for can make you feel sad, depressed, and anxious. If you’ve been feeling lost or out of sorts, it may be because you’ve lost or haven’t yet identified the values you want to live by.

Learned vs. Chosen Values

There are two ways we gain values. They’re either learned, or chosen, and the acquisition process of the two is quite different. It’s important to understand where each of your particular values comes from, so you can clearly evaluate whether or not it’s still serving you.

The young woman and her child are discussing their lived values

Learned values are often acquired from your parents and the adults in your life during childhood. These can be explicitly or implicitly taught to you, and they often find their way into your subconscious for the long haul. For example, an explicitly taught learned value could be your parents requiring you to keep your room clean, because they value tidiness and organization, and they wanted to instill that in you, as well. Implicitly taught learned values often come from what you see as a child, and not what you’re told. If your parents or caregivers were always present at your sporting events or recitals, for example, you may have implicitly learned the importance of showing up for family.

Learned values can be negative or positive, based on our early experiences, and we often don’t even realize we subscribe to them. Identifying and examining these values from time to time, much like cleaning out your closet, can help you to let go of what’s no longer serving you to make room for new values that better align with your ideology.

Chosen values are choices you intentionally make, usually as an adult. They aren’t something that was instilled by someone or something else, but rather internal decisions you’ve made to guide your life. Some examples of this are committing to healthy eating and regular exercise, dedicating or rededicating yourself to a chosen religion or belief system, or the way you navigate money and spending. These, too, can be examined every now and then, just to ensure they still resonate with you.

How to Identify Your Core Values

There are many ways to identify your values, including looking internally for any common trends during the happiest times of your life. However, sometimes it’s easier to start by looking outside of yourself at the world around you.

You could start with something as simple as looking at a list of values, and circling those that are most important to you. Also, look at your role models and idols. Why do you look up to these people? What is it about them that makes you want to emulate them? These traits are likely values that are important to you. On the contrary, examine people in your life that you don’t necessarily approve of. What is it about their actions or attitudes that doesn’t resonate with you? What is the opposite of that, and is it important to you? This is another way to begin to identify your own core values.

Finally, personal life coaching is an excellent way to work with an experienced professional to identify your core values and learn how to implement them into your life.

Tips to Live By Your Core Values

Identifying your core values is just the first step. Until they become lived values, they are mostly meaningless. So how exactly do you start letting your core values steer the course of your life? Here are three steps to get you there.

Define Your Values

You can’t live by your core values if you don’t know what your core values are. Using some of the techniques discussed above, you can start to identify and define your values. You can also spend some time thinking about life’s big questions and your perspective and thoughts on them. Some gentle introspective reflection can help you focus on this.

Create a Values Action Plan

Creating a values action plan is all about giving your values a prominent space in your everyday life. If you identify kindness as one of your core values, for example, consider how to live kindness daily. It can be as simple as letting someone merge into traffic in front of you, or as specific as paying for the groceries of someone in line behind you at checkout. For each value, identify ways that you can mold your daily actions, and, by default, the trajectory of your life, with observable action.

Be Intentional with Your Values

Your core values aren’t just ideas that live in the back of your head. Often, you have to intentionally choose to act in a way that exemplifies your values, and it isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s making the harder choice in order to stay true to yourself.

Need Help Living Out Your Values?

All of this can seem overwhelming, but being able to identify your values and leveraging them to shape your life path is transformative and powerful. Jonette Dyer is an experienced life coach who can help you through this process by providing a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your values, goals, and aspirations. Through insightful reflection, she will help you identify your values and empower you to reach your fullest potential. To begin living out your values today, contact Jonette Dyer Coaching.