How Do I Figure Out Who I Am?

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Who we are is at the core of every aspect of our lives. The identity you assign to yourself, or the way you believe yourself to be influences your opinions, values, goals, relationships, actions, and decisions.

But what do you do when you have no idea who you are, or your self-identity isn’t as clear as you’d like it to be? Discovering who you are is a lifelong process, and it can seem daunting, but by following some of these tips, tricks, and tools that Jonette Dyer implements with her clients, you can be well on your way to figuring out who you are in no time.

Why Is It Important to Understand Yourself?

Who you decide you are impacts every single aspect of your life. Knowing and understanding yourself shapes your goals, beliefs, relationships, and behaviors. Having a strong sense of self can help you to develop a positive self-image, and curate high self-esteem and self-confidence.

A lack of understanding of who you are at your core can lead to a feeling of aimlessness, making you feel like your life has no purpose. It can make goals difficult to set, values difficult to identify, and can cause depression, anxiety, and undue stress.

How Do I Figure Out Who I Am?

Wanting to figure out who you are is the first step. But how do you do it? How do you identify, once and for all, exactly who you are. In reality, the journey to self-understanding isn’t a “once and for all” sort of quest.

As we grow and move through life, who we are can change and grow, as well. This means getting to know yourself is an ongoing process. As long as we’re alive, we’re evolving, which means we must always pay attention to understanding who we are at any given moment. There are many tools that can help you figure out who you are, and you can use them over and over throughout your life to periodically check in with yourself.

Determine Your Core Life Values

Our core values are the foundation upon which the rest of our lives and identities are built. As they say in Hamilton, “If you stand for nothing… what will you fall for?” Without identifying and living out your core values, you’re like a ship lost at sea, without a destination.

Once you identify what’s important to you and what you believe in, the rest of your life will begin to fall into place.

Self-Reflect

In our modern times, we are surrounded by distractions of all kinds at all times. This makes it difficult to hear your own inner voice and recognize your own traits, beliefs, and values. In order to do this, you must carve out some dedicated time where you can be quiet with yourself and listen to your own inner voice.

Meditating or practicing mindfulness can be helpful in getting in touch with your inner self. If you’re not the meditating type, don’t despair! There are other ways to self-reflect and examine your true identity. Try writing in a journal, creating open-ended art, exploring yourself through creative writing, or even making lists of things that do and don’t matter to you. Each of these exercises will help to drown out the external noise and bring you closer to self-understanding.

Figure Out Who You Are Not

Sometimes, we learn who we are by learning who we aren’t. Think back to things that make you angry, sad, indignant, or uncomfortable. Can you detect any patterns? Are there certain triggers that perpetually set you off? Are there certain people that constantly rub you the wrong way?

If so, take some time to analyze exactly what it is about these people, things, and situations that don’t make you feel good. Chances are, these are traits that you do not value or find helpful. These are all parts of who you are not. Once you eliminate all the things you aren’t, you make space to explore who you are.

Challenge Yourself

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsh

It can be frightening to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. However, it’s a necessary risk that must be taken if you’re truly committed to getting to know yourself better. You can’t know whether or not you enjoy something unless you try it.

If you don’t? Don’t worry. Take each new situation as a learning experience. Analyze what you did and did not like about the situation and use this new knowledge to gain a better understanding of who you are.

Overcome Limited Thinking

Sometimes, we grow and change so fast that our self-image can’t keep up. This mismatch between who we have become and who we perceive ourselves to be can cause limited thinking. Limited thinking can cause you to miss out on new perspectives and opportunities and can hold you back from evolving into your best self.

If you find yourself stuck in a pattern of limited thinking, reach out to a therapist or life coach for help to work through any obstacles that may be holding you back, and focus your sights on moving forward on your journey to self-discovery.

Take a Personality Test

Finally, personality tests can be extremely helpful in identifying different aspects of who you are. While a personality test may not highlight every single trait that makes you who you are, they’re a good jumping-off point for analyzing your sense of self.

One of the most tried-and-true personality tests is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. This scientifically backed assessment classifies you into one of 16 personality types, based on four different metrics. You can take a version of the test online, or find a professional who can administer the test in person and provide you with individualized feedback.

How Do I Strengthen My Sense of Self?

Strengthening a weak sense of self can be overwhelming, but you never have to do it alone. Understanding who you are is one of many reasons to reach out to a life coach and take advantage of personal coaching services.

Finding the right life coach is an individual journey, but you should always look for a coach who has successfully worked with others who have been in your situation. Jonette Dyer has years of experience helping clients from all walks of life better understand themselves and their unique identities. She’s passionate about understanding the way one thinks or behaves the way they do and uses tools like insightful reflection and meaningful feedback to help you better connect with yourself.